The Royal Marines Band Service On-line Community

Hornblower · Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 2:10 pm Post subject:

True mucker, too bloody true!

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How many pshycics does it take to change a light bulb?

ITMA!

bootybandy · Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:06 pm Post subject:

God knows how many times I visited Gib, but I ended up behind bars twice!!! Once with Goldy and once with Gilly! I suppose I'll have to try and think of someone senior in the band at the time when the phot that Stu posted was taken, and try and figure out a connection between FOSNI and then. Hmmmm very interesting.
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Wine is meant to be drunk............I am drunk.............Therefore am I wine??

General Melchett · Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:37 pm Post subject:

There are plenty of Scotland Band "lurkers" on this thread that outed themselves to me at a Carnegie last week - You know who you are!!
Start posting the stories you told me.................
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Richie B · Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:46 pm Post subject: Can't wait

Can't wait!

Bronco · Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:35 pm Post subject:

Gib....Hmmm, i remember getting P****D there when i was ships Bugler on HMS ANTRIM in'79. ( tasted pussers rum for the first time). I was staggering back to the ship towing around 50ft of boat rope which was attached to my left foot. a large Gib Copper told me to take it back to where i got it from or get arrested.
" Where i asked"? I couldn't remember where i got it from or how it got wrapped around my foot. I ended up staggering back managing to get rid of the copper somehow? and ended up dumping it in someone's backyard. A true Bulger moment.

Richie B · Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 3:49 pm Post subject: Gib

Hey, if you want to talk about Gib, then why not start up a new conversation topic...what a novel idea! (more me please...sounds like a sound check!)...(tongue in cheek!).

FFoglamp · Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:31 pm Post subject:

Oops . sorry Rich. We've sort of hijacked your room.

So, more Barriball on here please.

I'll leave it to the next poster..............
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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

chalkyc · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:51 pm Post subject: Almost had a cracker...

Was gigging with Rich B last weekend and looking everywhere for fresh dits.

When we arrived at the venue there was no sign of Rich B and the guests were still tucking into their food. The mobile goes with a text:

"Set up in McDonalds".

Well I thought let me get to the computer and write about this one. Of course what he meant was set up and gone to McDonalds.

More gigs to come....

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Homer J Simpson

Richie B · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject: Fiction

The text was sent to Mark and it read:

"Gear already set up. Now in McDonalds."

The full stop would not have been verbalised!

Co-admin · Site Admin Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 1811

Just like the man who was hung by a comma!

Set up. In McDonalds.
Set up in McDonalds.
Same words, one full stop, different meanings.
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Comfortably Numb · In Basic Training Joined: 31 Jul 2006 Posts: 26

Before dear Ritchie joined FOSNI he stayed a while at Lympstone. Whist there he went to Norway to endure CTC bands arctic Arctic Survival training. The excersise included an NBC in the snow routine - oh what fun!
We drew the kit and were given brand new NBC suits (remember that, its important)

On the first day "in the field" (insert minus 15 and lots of snow) we were yomping along for what seems like yards when Ritchie took off his gloves. We noticed that one of his hands was blue. Really blue, with white fingertips to boot (for those that are interested their called demarkation lines!). Fearing the first case of Pianists frostbite Jim Rider instantly went into one of his mini whirlwinds and the said hand was inserted into everybodys armpit and crotch to warm it up. This didn't help so Ritchie was CASEVACed out back to camp. On arriving at sickbay his combats were taken off to let the warm in and thats when the MA Scablifter noticed the four elastic bands around his wrist. The bands were removed and normal blood flow was resumed. Ritchie, had removed the elastic bands from the packs that wrapped his new NBC suite and popped them on his wrist just like every good band librarian told him to do when handing out march cards!!

Priceless.

Pastie was casivaced out the following night too but thats another story!!
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Hey Nonny · Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 2:38 pm Post subject: Choice Gems

Hey nonny nonny, greetings pop pickers! Here are some gems that come back to me through the mists of time:

On arriving at Deal train station for New Entry training, the little nugget of fun phones the guardroom and utters the following immortal lines to the duty corporal: "we're here." No other explanation, nothing. Response from irate Cpl?

It was so loud it could be heard by the other new entries standing near the phone box. And so began an illustrious career in causing mayhem, misery and mirth in equal amounts.

Be Bop was asked to go and fetch something out of John Hill's car. Returns with broken key in hand and no item. He'd been trying to get into the wrong car and snapped the key off in the other car in the process.

Result? Not one but two shagged cars. Easy mistake to make.

Mess dinner at CTC. Spot the piano player wearing white socks. Who hasn't done that on a gig?

Also at CTC, the dyspraxic one was asked to draw a Corps Pattern kilt when news of a draft to FOSNI band came through. Well, who wouldn't fall for that one?

The Be Bop is playing his own arrangement for band of Tico Tico out front as a solo. Forgets his solo part mid solo. Of his own arrangement. Could happen to anyone.

FOSNI band Mili trg with Commacchio Group in early 90s; one night in the accommodation block a big scrap between booties and bandies breaks out, the cheeky one was politely asked to seek assistance by the gallant bandies trying to hold back the hordes literally beating down the door: "Rich, climb out of the window and get help", "No, I'll get hurt" - said he hiding under a bed as punches are getting exchanged with the baying mob outside and things are about to get very nasty, a la Assault on Precinct 13.

Anyway, biff bang pow ensues. The final score? The band manage to snatch a respirator from one of the assailants, so I guess the band won on that occasion. Don't try this at home kids!

Oh the list is endless. More memoirs please.

Hornblower · Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 7:15 pm Post subject: Re: Choice Gems

ROFLMFHO.

Wish I'd met the geezer!

Hey Nonny · Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:13 pm Post subject: The chosen one...

Group of schoolgirls standing outside the tour bus, one of them points to Him and says to the rest 'look, they have a monkey in their band'.

And they weren't wrong.

This really happened and can be corroborated by someone who was talking to them at the time (and probably trying to get their phone numbers).

Name the band, the year, and the tour to win a night out for two

with Richie B.
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Hey nonny no!
Men are fools that wish to die!
Is’t not fine to dance and sing
When the bells of death do ring?
Is’t not fine to swim in wine,
And turn upon the toe
And sing hey nonny no,
When the winds blow and the seas flow?
Hey nonny no!

General Melchett · Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 8:20 pm Post subject:

I'm not saying anything, other than........ It is sometimes important to check your change lever whilst carrying out ISP's!
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I feel the need - The need for Tweed!