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FFoglamp

WOW good morning junglies.

Awaiting Pumpy's attempt at poetry............or you starve !!!

Today's poll - vote for the one you want out, its getting too crowded, and we seem to get contestants wandering off to carry on their normal routine, like going to work !

So, just one person will leave the camp tonight. Who do you want to see out............VOTE NOW !

Have a nice day !

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

ZedHorn · Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 1:01 pm Post subject:

c'mon pumpy where's our poem!!!

must be written with full volly bolly rhythm and pentameter!

Zed
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Aaron Aardvark · Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:22 pm Post subject:

If he doesnt hurry up im going to snag his bollox off. Im starving and so are the rest of us. Im even tempted to eat stuffed donkey. Dont want bad end though.

I love donkeeee donkey no lie

ZedHorn · Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:26 pm Post subject:

if pumpy gets voted off before his poem is published what happens next??? dilemna??

Z

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Aaron Aardvark · Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:37 pm Post subject:

Ill force Rabster to do one.......i have to eat!!!!!!!! We could dress him up as Pumpy and pretend its him and hopefully the judges wont spot the size difference.

admin · Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:09 pm Post subject:

***************NEWSFLASH*****************
As we look over the camp this morning we hear the unfamiliar tones of an out of tune bulge as Pumpy pumps out reveillie, revile, revalley, The bulge call that bulgers play in the morning to wake everyone up.
The two victims, errr, contenders for the celebrity hatbox challenge are… drumroll please Ffoggy… Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr TISH! Les and A! They will be sutably dressed in protective equipment to ensure that if they are injured the bits of their bodies will at least remain attached, we hope! Not that there is any danger… until they get to the challenge location any how. A and Les don their full body armour (courtesy from our friends at Royal Marines Poole specialist clothing store and sponsored by Stiff and Peggedit undertakers and stone masons to the fairly famous). The Kevlar helmets have been tastefully decorated by a blind Peruvian Llama herder who has knitted brightly coloured covers that have a strange smell for them. The footwear has also been imported from Holland and made by Van Van Van, cobblers to the Dutch Government, makers of fine clogs and wigs. The OG underwear by is provided by Grabbam and Smellitt makers of green things to the Military and country folk. (Right, that’s enough of the advertising for that lot).

A: Ready Les?
Les: I was born ready sweetheart
A: Well, let’s crack on then
Les: Yea, gis a minute, I’ve just got to Have a quick… Tiger
A: What, we don’t have time for you to have a beer, come on
Les: Hold up love, I’ll be back in a mo

With that, Les leapt up and ran straight into a thick bush by the side of the camp. The bush shook and there was a right kerfuffle as leaves fly from the bush, bangs and all manner of groans, moans, barks and growls come from the bush. A leg is seen popping out of the bush for a moment but quickly goes back in. A stands there in amazement as Les walks back out of the bush wearing a dapper Tiger skin jacket and matching hat.

A: What the…
Les: I was going for a dump but saw that bloody big tiger behind you about to jump on you and yaffle you. It was him or you and I really liked the jacket he had on
A: Ohhhh my hero, Come on, get your coat
Les: Ohhhh errrrrr, I’ve pulled
A: No you haven’t Mr, I’m not that sort of girl
Les: & I’m not that sort of bloke, I mean I’ve pulled a muscle, not a bird

The dapper pair set off to look for the hatbox. The trail was easy and they saw the hatbox easily. It was suspended from a branch in a clearing. Below the hatbox was a pit full of snarling, snapping, biting, bad mooded, premenstrual Tasmanian Devils with toothache. In the middle of the pit was a tree stump with a plank balancing on it with the words “Tazzy See Saw” written on it.

Les: Eh up lass (he said with a sudden reappearance of his northern accent again) looks like we is avin to play on the see saw!
A: Ohhhhhh goody, I love playing in the park!
Les: Ohhh bugger, what are they in that pit?
A: I don’t know but they don’t look very happy. Look at how many teeth they have between them!
Les: Best get on with it then, That hatbox won’t fall down without our help will it?
A: I’ll go first on the see saw then
Les: What end do you want?
A: I’ve already told you, I’m NOT that sort of a girl
Les: No what end of the see saw!
A: Oppps, sorry. I’ll have the other end.

With that A began to crawl along the plank and take up her position. Les sat on the end nearest the jetty and they looked up. They had to make the see saw swivel as well as go up and down. The Tazzies were running around below them snapping and snarling at Les and A’s dangling feet.

Les: Looks like we are going t ave t put us feet down at some point love, good job weez got these ere clogs on, them teeth look a bit sharp.
A: OK Les, pull the wedge out and we can start see sawing to get to the hatbox
Les: OK Love, you go down first
A: I’ve told you Les, I’m not that sort of girl!
Les: No, I mean you put your feet down first and push yersen toward the hatbox.
A: Oops, sorry. OK then pull the wedge out

Les pulled out the wedge and A started her descent into the pit of Tazzies. As soon as they saw her feet heading down they all turned and ran toward them. With an almighty stamp, A sent herself back up and Les down. Seeing Les’ feet heading down the Tazzies made a U turn and went for his feet instead. Les stamped and pushed sideways aiming A toward the hatbox whilst one of the Tazzies sank its teeth into Les’ clog.

Les: Grab the box A, this bugger has got his gnashers into me.
A: Ohhhh, I missed. You try and grab it as you pass Les!

A gave an almighty stamp and squashed a couple of Tazzies as she spun the see saw at a speed it wasn’t designed for. Les headed for the hatbox and missed as it was just out of reach.

Les: Back to you
A: To me… to you
Les: To me… to you

And so it continued. The see saw became more like a chinook’s rotor as they built up speed. Faster and faster they spun and the faster they went the more Tazzies were splattered and the faster they went… with a huge crack, Les’ head connected with the hatbox and sent it into the bush, along with Les. As Les left the see saw A went down at a rate of knots before bouncing at the bottom of the see or the saw (Whichever one is the downy word) and flying clean out of the pit of tazzies. Picking themselves up, they went off into the bush to find the hatbox which was making some pretty strange sounds!

Les: Reet lass, we’d best get this back smartish, something ain’t quite reet here!
A: Is that box moaning?
Les: I’m not sure but it is making noises

Les and A ran back to camp (well, ran is perhaps a wrong description bearing in mind they were wearing clogs with Tasmanian Devils hanging off them by their teeth and silly helmet covers) as fast as they could with the hatbox held high.

Les: We’ve got it
A: And it is making strange noises
Pumpey: No, that was me on my bulge over there in the bushes
Botty: No, I was in the bush bog so it was me
Rab: Burp Phhhhharp Eh?
Aaron: Snuffle sniff
Zed: No, I was putting my latex gloves on, it was probably me
GF: No, I was shaving my bits with me cutlass and it was making an awful noise
Stuffed Donkey:
Les: No, it was the box, it made a noise like “Ouchyafuggersthathurt”
A: No, it was more like “Yeeeeeeowwwwyabazzas”
Rab: Open the box then, let’s see what we’ve got!

The group gathered around as they top of the box was opened. The note was difficult to read but they could just make out the word Albert. As they pulled the paper out a dazed and confused Albert stuck his head out and said “Lo! Who’s got the bleedin Asprin, my head feels like Rab sat on it!” As he fell out the gang could see the rest of the box was stuffed with Corps Pattern scarves and bars of every type of chocolate they could imagine.

No animals were hurt during the making of this production
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FFoglamp · Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 12:13 am Post subject:

Good Evening contestants, and of course, hello to the 100's of forum members who voted (NOT) today !

Its getting a bit crowded in there again, with TWO aardvarks now.

So, the voting has closed. Who is going to be evicted RIGHT THIS MINUTE ?

Well, Rab was 4th, stuffed Donkey and Pumpy fought it out for second, but the person who now has to collect their things and FARKOFF is.....

LES BRYAN

So, thank you for your efforts, Les but time to go back to the Pub !!!

Whilst he's gathering his bottles of Pussers and Tigers, I'd would just like to say that everyone is starving, as Pumpy hasn't done his poem yet.

So, whilst we wait and you all starve, I have a proposition for you. tomorrows voting is simply a yes or no answer. And the question is.............

Should Pumpy go ?

He's got until 1700 wednesday to dazzle us with his poetry, or its the result of the vote.

Not that I'm biased or hinting in anyway, but if he is evicted, I might let one of you write a poem for him instead, if any of you are up to it.

..............and I might even chuck in a bottle of red for the doc !!!

So, see you in part 6, get voting, and I know there is plenty of it, but, please, no barbecued aardvark !!!

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

MrJpig · Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:07 am Post subject:

Tum te tum didilee dee te tum te tum

um
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FFoglamp · Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:37 am Post subject:

OMG ! These ITV 2 repeats at 6 am are boring !
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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

admin · Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 9:41 pm Post subject:

Locked
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