The Royal Marines Band Service On-line Community

townsergeant · Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:32 pm Post subject:

Actually I bought it at a Bootfair, but I thought I would glam it up a bit!

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Nill Illigitimi Carborundum

RAB · Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:45 pm Post subject:

townsergeant · Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:15 am Post subject:

I laughed so much at this joke that was sent to me by a friend in NZ, I had to put it here, as I'm not sure if anyone reads the jokes section and they're bound to read this thread (Well Rab does!)

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired a Consulting firm to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the Kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now'..... I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the toilets. By tying this string to the tip of "you know what", we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the toilet by 76.39 percent.

I asked 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon'

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Nill Illigitimi Carborundum

emasewell · Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:22 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the link guys for the Horn shop, ,I have been in contact with them and i am going on Sunday to look/buy the horn if it's what i want and suits my playing style etc......

Thanks!

And keep those jokes coming- I like them

xxx
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Emma x

townsergeant · Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:39 pm Post subject:

Well I have my new Horn! (Can't remember if I mentioned it?)

.......and I'm reliably informed that someone on this thread has just bought a Paxman Model 20A

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Nill Illigitimi Carborundum

Hornblower · Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:59 pm Post subject:

emasewell · Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:14 pm Post subject:

Hi

Just heard today from Tony that you got your horn yesterday, it was me who bought the Paxman 20A today! and i love it...

xxx
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Emma x

Jimbo · Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:32 pm Post subject:

townsergeant · Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:36 pm Post subject:

I had an e-mail from Tony to say that you had bought the horn!

Glad that you had a successful trip down to Kent and back.

Enjoy!

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Nill Illigitimi Carborundum