Archive for The Royal Marines Band Service On-line Community Bringing the serving and ex serving communities together          The Royal Marines Band Service On-line Community Forum Index -> Uniforms and instruments Eff Oboe on Parade(?!!) Does anyone know why the Bands do not use oboes/ bassoons on parade unlike The Guards/ Army Bands? (Apart from perhaps the volume issue) There is an urban myth that says if an Oboist were to fall forward on parade the instrument would kill the player! Hornblower Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Eff wrote: Does anyone know why the Bands do not use oboes/ bassoons on parade unlike The Guards/ Army Bands? (Apart from perhaps the volume issue) There is an urban myth that says if an Oboist were to fall forward on parade the instrument would kill the player! As opposed to the listener? MrJpig It`s a bit like if God had wanted us to be vegitarians he wouldn`t have made animals out of meat!! (stands back and waits for barrage from plastic shoe brigade) If the Oboists and Bassoonists played their Oboes and Bassoons.....who would play the Bass Drum and Cymbals????? Hornblower MrJpig wrote: If the Oboists and Bassoonists played their Oboes and Bassoons.....who would play the Bass Drum and Cymbals????? Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I refer you to a (very lost) thread wot I wrote some time ago about Trev Waters - half of us Dogends were billeted at HMS Drake in the 70's awaiting some ship or other to take us to some European port. (Who remembers the H blocks?) The Devonport fieldgun team were putting on their annual show before going off to Earls Court and this, of course, necessitated the services of a Royal Marine Band - not ours though, we were only passing through. We heard the 3 beat rolls and saw the band (BRNC) swing around the corner. I knew TJ was one of the hornists and looked for him - however, there was only one and it wasn't him! Then I found out why, he was smashing bloody hell out of a pair of cymbals. Wise bandmaster that!!! (Sorry TJ, had to be said ) RAB MrJpig wrote: If the Oboists and Bassoonists played their Oboes and Bassoons.....who would play the Bass Drum and Cymbals????? The book-ends..??? The mess deck scrubber..?? The BOC (Band Sec for you older chaps).. Bert Fuggle even...???? Just anyone except Roy Hallin..... townsergeant Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Eff wrote: Does anyone know why the Bands do not use oboes/ bassoons on parade Eff knows!.....or rather, Eff doesn't know! admin Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Eff wrote: There is an urban myth that says if an Oboist were to fall forward on parade the instrument would kill the player! and a clarinet wouldn't? Wahhhhhh greenfairy Clarinettists are more easily replaceable though cos no reasonably sane bugger wants to play oboe Aaron Aardvark Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Eff wrote: There is an urban myth that says if an Oboist were to fall forward on parade the instrument would kill the player! I think it's more wishful thinking.......however, other instruments aren't particularly teeth and throat friendly either; i can see that a cornet rammed down yer gob after falling on it would cause some fatal damage too.......wahhhhhhhhhh.......just had a thought. What if a bass drummer fell forward? He would start rolling, wrapped round his drum into the rest of the band and the result would be 34 pin bowling. The rest of the band would die laughing. Apricot *giggle giggle* eastneyslapper Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Eff wrote: Does anyone know why the Bands do not use oboes/ bassoons on parade unlike The Guards/ Army Bands? Simple.... our instrument store doesn't have Oboe or Bassoon lyres.... townsergeant Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) eastneyslapper wrote: Eff wrote: Does anyone know why the Bands do not use oboes/ bassoons on parade unlike The Guards/ Army Bands? Simple.... our instrument store doesn't have Oboe or Bassoon lyres.... End of Chit-Chat! MrJpig These chaps manage to march amd play an oboe type hooter....and check out how many cymbal players there are.........FINE MAUSERS TOO!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD...aNS0&mode=related&search= Hornblower You have more time than is healthy for you Andy... MrJpig Hornblower wrote: You have more time than is healthy for you Andy... ....and who read the whole post on Scottish inventors??? Hornblower Yup - you have a good point and made it well. Gotta go - work to do... Yeah right! Eff Jingling Johnies On Parade! Who needs Oboes!!!! bootybandy Morris Dancing just sprung to mind. Must lie down..... Baaaaaaaaaaass Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Eff wrote: There is an urban myth that says if an Oboist were to fall forward on parade the instrument would kill the player! You say it like it's a bad thing, Eff. Just kidding! admin Re: Oboe on Parade(?!!) Baaaaaaaaaaass wrote: You say it like it's a bad thing, Eff. It would be a bad thing! Think of the mess it would make of your boots marching through broken oboist Baaaaaaaaaaass I think that's why Little Jonno paints 'em. bootybandy Baaaaaaaaaaass wrote: I think that's why Little Jonno paints 'em. What? The Little Oboeist? Baaaaaaaaaaass Hmmm. I think that's a grand idea. You hold 'em, I'll get busy with the roller. Mr Bass Trombone You have all given reasons as to why we don't use Oboe's and Bassoons(Farting Bedposts) as they used to be known and they are all reasonable answers, but I can remember the days when in fact RM Bands did use Bassoons on parade, and the instrument store did have lyres for the said instrument. Don't think they were given the melody line though. MrJpig Why did they stop using them then Mick? Hornblower MrJpig wrote: Why did they stop using them then Mick? S'obvious really, when you think aboot it... ...one of 'em died when they keeled over on parade and the reed - well, I guess you know the rest.... Mr Bass Trombone I guess that they found it more fun crashing plates together and bashing a big Ffffing drum. But the real answer is I don't really know and does anyone really care?? Maybe not unless of course you are a musican istorian. Adios. Eff Bass Drum and cymbals are definitely louder than an oboe/ bassoon!!! Hey Nonny Yep, even Hammy could play them, unlike his bassoon. eastneyslapper He was always much, much safer on parade with his camera and green lid.... 2nd Clarinet MrJpig wrote: Hornblower wrote: You have more time than is healthy for you Andy... ....and who read the whole post on Scottish inventors??? True, Very true!!!!! He did! 2nd Clarinet RAB wrote: [ Just anyone except Roy Hallin..... RAB Roy Hallin? Was he a Dogend? This was before I got there in '72. I remember a story about a Chatham Band cymbal player who, during a parade, let out a very loud scream and start bashing his cymbals together when a WASP started buzzing around him. Do you know the story? Were you there? Was this Roy Hallin? If not, tell us his story. . bootybandy I always thought Roy was a Bass Drummistician and not a Cymbalistician. RAB bootybandy wrote: I always thought Roy was a Bass Drummistician and not a Cymbalistician. Yes he was Bass Drum Holder....( and a very frightening one at times).. BOB.. Don't think Roy was ever a Dogend..(and I'm not in any way suggesting he was ever a Fag either)... The wasp story rings a bell, but I honestly can't remember .. I'm sure someone does though.... townsergeant Our B/M, Taff Webber, made everyone in Stonehouse Band have a go on Bass Drum. My first and last attempt was at RNEC Manadon Divisions....... Remember the sayings 'right or wrong, make it strong!' and 'make an ar$e of yourself and they won't ask you to play again!' It worked! bootybandy The wasp thing sounds possibly a Phil Barnard or Keith Tominson kind of thing, although they might be a little later at Chats... Eff Not heard anyone use cymbals as a wasp swatter, but I've heard Haysee sneeze into his trombone on parade before!!! Hornblower The wasp/bee story occurred before we went to Chatham Bob, so it wan't either of the 2 mentioned by Botty - I've searched the old memory cells but can't come up with the name of the perp. Ivor, can YOU remember who it was? (I just luuuurrrv the thought of a screaming bandsman running around in full cere's trying to 'tish' a bee to death) 2nd Clarinet I'm trying to be politically correct here......but as the story was told to me, the cymballist (what a great word) was of the limp wristed fraternity. (This is the only avatar that seemed to match!) This clue may help someone remember, then again.....it might not! Yes Hornblower! Barney and Keith were later on. This was pre 1972 Wouldn't it have been great to see it happen on Pembroke Divisions. Picture the scene, Flag Officer Medway, Captain - HMS Pembroke, Jimmy - HMS Pembroke, all the usual hangers on for parades. Gunnery Officer etc, etc. I can imagine all the pith helmets shaking with mirth, tears rolling down their faces and puddles of water forming around their feet. Competition Time. You can enter one or both. 1. The Drum Major of the time would have had a...... 2. The Drum Major said "............." . Hornblower I was doing my exercises (yes) at 06.00 hrs (Zulu) this morning when a blinding flash of inspiration came to me regarding the identity of the wasp swatter... (why the hell I was pondering this conundrum whilst bent in half is beyond me!) However, I do think that others should have an opportunity of trying to guess the name of the miscreant who I also believe was fair game for an extremely fast (and dishonourable) discharge should his 'persuasion' have been discovered by the authorities. (Why use one word (gay) when a couple of score can be utilised?!) Soooo, the initials (to prove I do know his identity) are supplied below... SM Any thoughts? 2nd Clarinet Don't do the ....'INITIAL' .....bit again! I'm still working on MJ and DD . 2nd Clarinet Hornblower wrote: I(Why use one word (gay) when a couple of score can be utilised?!) SCORE? That equals 20 for all you younger readers. Couple of score = 40 Well, 'Gay' has been used so that leaves 39 Bloody hell Stu! It's gonna be tough Let's see how many we can get before we are censored. 2. Poof Hornblower You're on your own ya shirt lifter - I'm a mod and cannot get involved in this particular playtime. RAB Hornblower wrote: You're on your own ya shirt lifter - I'm a mod and cannot get involved in this particular playtime. Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...My memory banks have flooded open by your prompting Stuey... All I can say is that I now remember the incident, but was not on parade at the time.. I'm afraid your initials are not the same person I recall.. Like you, I can't disclose in open Forum either, but I'll PM the name to you.. For the others....Keep guessing...But be careful what you write... bootybandy Sado Masochistic...... I think he was an Oboe playist 2nd Clarinet . I'm not sure, but I think he had a nickname of 'Mary' . Siegfried bootybandy wrote: Sado Masochistic...... I think he was an Oboe playist Evidently - and of the Pink variety,without doubt... HB - you have come up with a Classic - "to 'tish' a bee to death" hahahaha - I can just see it in my minds eye... Hornblower HTH Seigfried! Seems I was wrong about SM. Back to the drawing board then... RAB ..I've got lots of other stories on the guy(spolling) in question which I can't put on here... And some I already have, if you want to dredge through a few thousand pages of posts to find them... Just to help you on your way, he was NOT an oboe player.....        The Royal Marines Band Service On-line Community Forum Index -> Uniforms and instruments Page 1 of 1