Financial advice

Co-admin · Financial advice

Positive Solutions

Co-admin

FFoglamp, I have a fiver, should I invest in Boddingtons, Guiness or Carlsberg? I was also looking at long term investment and saw a home brew kit for £8 but that would mean doing an extra paper round. Should I just go with a small bottle of Bacardi instead?
Decisions, decisions...

jock

sminnoff is the only one to invest your money in,i have invested a fortune in shares of that wonderfull substance,

FFoglamp

Very sound advice from Jock there. I trust that answers your question.

However, too much investing in the above assets leads to hangovers etc...

Therefore you need one of my new "bad day policies".

This is where you pay a regular premium, and when you have a really bad day, you claim on the policy. This usually pays out £50 to get rat arsed and get a late night curry or kebab too, and you then feel better.

However, the incidence of claiming has been known to be high, so the premium is about £50.

jock

£50, i want to know where you are drinking,that would only cover the first couple of hours drinking never mind the curry or kebeb

Aaron Aardvark

Ffoggy....i need help....Ive lost all my money ..I had to bail Albert out a few times and replace a lot of stock that went missing in the Verge Inn. Do you think if I sell all my ball top collection I will have enough to invest in a trip to Australia. There's a sax for sale out there and I really want it.

RAB

Aaron Aardvark

actually I have just realised....I have 11 ball tops and ffoggy doesn't do 11 too well does he?

Ill have to nick 2 more and make it 13.

FFoglamp

I'll ask Deli if he's got 2 spare ones..............or maybe just ONE !!!

admin

Mine is a tad sore still and I don't have any tops... just the balls

sticky blue

bootybandy

sticky blue

Aaron Aardvark

Blimey Tommo....how old are you exactly?

Roundheads had quite sturdy helmets of course......but were very common. Royalists were the better force however. Even though their boss lost his head. Nothing new there then.

Ball top sabotage was a common practice then too...how many tops rolled off down the hills in those days? eh?

My great great great great great great uncle Abelard Aardvark used to go round the battlefields
collecting shiney bits from the Roundhead corpses. He had quite a collection in the end. I wish I knew where he had buried them because it would help towards my financial problem....

FFoglamp

I was just trying to help everyone out by looking up the prices on the "BALLTOP EXCHANGE", within Commodities, but trading has been suspended as there is a run on them at the mo.

The only way to get a decent price, is to ask the storeman how many he has in stock. I can work out price/earnings ratio based on the number in circulation, versus the estimated number squirreled away by you avid collectors, like Aaron Aardvark, and of course future demand once this settles down. You then get a list of balltops and current auction prices from EBay, and hopefully E-RMBay in the future, divide by the dividend mid price, then times this figure by your age, take away 1, add 11 (not 13), and take the square root of this. This will give you todays value of 1 balltop.

Finally, to get a true value of your balltops collection, just simply times the above figure by the amount you have, divide by 6.23 euros, and add the number you first thought. Or this could be total b**l*cks.

Aaron Aardvark

Ball tops Ball tops everywhere
With the makers company I have a share
Rub em hard and see them glow
Ball tops ball tops all in a row.

Thanks Ffoggy.....I took your advice and got shares in Ball Tops plc

I got 6 free ones and a free insurance policy that covers loss and theft.

RAB

Aaron Aardvark

Eleven green berets, sitting on the wall
Eleven green berets sitting on the wall
and if one green beret should accidentily falllllll

There'll be, thirteen green berets sitting on the wall
thirteen green berets , sitting on the wall....

MrJpig

Reminds me of Paddy O Doors at the singing competition

10 green bottles sitting on the wall
10 green bottles sitting on the wall

and if one green bottle should accidently fall
there`d be...............................................................
.............................................................................

OHHHH DANNY BOY.........

Aaron Aardvark

Ffoggy...i was going to call you about some financial advice. After seeing that photo of you I think I will go else where

FFoglamp

Well at least we are not frightened to show ourselves. Where's the photo of you, then ? You could always accept my advice with your eyes shut tight !!!

bootybandy

lesbryan

You would have to think twice about financial advice from a man with ladies knicks on his head and awooly sock on his C%%K

Aaron Aardvark

My sentiments exactly Les.......my sympathy goes to Mrs Ffoglamp

bootybandy

Unlike this one........(See Spanish Website)

Dan A

Mark whats the deal on getting UK mortgages to buy property in NZ? The NZ mortgage rates are up to 9.5 %.
Does this count as a second home?
What are UK rates for a second home mortgage?

Stop being flucking frivolous elsewhere and do some work on this!!!!!
cheers
Dan

FFoglamp

Hi Dan ! You have a PM !

MrJpig