GeoffComber
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Belgium , Liege 1976Now heres a good trip to forget , but they're always the ones that you remember aren't they ?
I was barely out of the School when the Staff Band (at Deal , of course) got well and truly clobbered with this one.
The trip got turned down to start with but whoever it was that wanted us to publicise his running as Mayor of Liege had one thing going for him....He knew Prince Philip and after the alleged good cause had been changed to 'Lifeboats' (strangely , we only saw one) off we went.
We knew that it was gonna be a strange one when the transport arrived at Dover , grey-funnel line (a Frigate whos name escapes me) and so we bucketed over to Ostend on a somewhat brisk day and all debouched on the dock a few hours later. The coach arrived but the driver spoke no English , we spoke no French , or Belgian come to that. This was to become somewhat of a feature .
Our next stop , a Belgian Army barracks where we were shown to our rheum , just the one , all 50 of us in the one bloody great dormitory with some rickety iron-framed bunk beds and a blanket . (each , this was luxury indeed !)
The smell from the toilets was only excelled by the stink from the galley when we went for some approximation of a meal after doing the usual Bandies' calm acceptance of the situation ( cue much arm waving and language to make a stoker blush , all wasted , 'cos nobody spoke English )
Much use was made of the bar facilities outside the barracks that night , and the other nights,though why 'Spanner 'Winter decided to go ashore in best blue that night (or on of them ) nobody could decide and quite how he ended up being found , peacefully asleep (as only Spanner could sleep ) in a field outside the barracks with all his buttons missing remains a mystery.
The barracks was so insalubrious that it was not unusual in the days we worked from it to find the entire bus full and ready to go nearly an hour in advance . Happy days.
The 'Job' consisted of travelling to various locations , give 'em a tune , then off etc ,etc. But was made just that bit more interesting by the language difficulties . We never ever knew where we were going and by the look of it the driver didn't know either !
We played in supermarket car-parks (prompting calls of 'Stop for a Beat Retreat!' whenever we saw one afterwards) in Schools , local church halls and I distinctly remember rigging-up on a traffic island somewhere , with all the traffic whizzing round us. Talking of which , we also got stopped a few times in the aforementioned car-parks because nobody had cleared an area and the cars were driving all around us !
The final 'gig' was a march round Liege at the head of some procession or other , never did find out what 'cos I believe we lost them at some point.Highlights of this one were stepping over Spanner (yup , him again) who had dropped down an open manhole and got stuck with his Bass in the opening and coming to a grinding halt in a back alley somewhere and being directed inside for a beer. Cheers !Then it was back outside and 'start up the engine' and off , well , it beat walking!
We threw some jabbering Belgian off at one venue , only to find out later (as we stared at the crap in the galley) that we had turned down a slap-up meal ! We did get it in the end and it was a very convivial evening to be sure and , despite all apearances to the contrary , somebody , somewhere , managed to arrange a pi$$-up in a brewery ! We had a rather interesting (if slightly smelly) trip to the Jupiler brewery at some point. No idea where , I was past caring . Is it free? I'll have FOUR !
They don't make 'em like that anymore! (thankyou, God)
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admin
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^^^^^^^^^^^This is what they want!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
| GeoffComber wrote: | | Highlights of this one were stepping over Spanner (yup , him again) who had dropped down an open manhole and got stuck with his Bass in the opening |
It is like a carry on film, you couldn't write comedy like that
Many thanks for that one Geoff.
As we are in Europe...
We were in Van Genk (spelling!) Barracks for a tattoo. Us, being us, got into the grots and went for the showers... could we find them? Could we hell. All we could find was a circular sink about 4 feet across with taps all pointing into the communal sink. I say communal sink but we never did find out what it was! All I remember are guys sat in this sink spinning round in it before going to scran, which was something to behold! Toast, cheese, ham, peanut butter, hundreds and thousands and hot satay sauce; what is that all about? Anorexia was the order of the trip as that was the fayre for every meal...
The gig was the equivalent of their Mountbatten Festival of Music. Myself and AN Other, who shall remain nameless, were going through a difficult time in our lives and after the gig, went to the reception and kicked ar$e! Genieve Gin boat races between the 2 of us, mortal, the pair of us. We spied a fair maiden the other side of the hall and staggered over, I dropped onto my knee, and held her hand, my partner in crime began bum, chi, bum bum, chi, bum, chi, bum bum chi bum chi and I went off into possibly the worst rendition of "You never hic close your eyes hic anymore when I kiss your hic lips". It went down like a fart in a lift... she was the daughter of their Commandant General... Oh joy of joys, Jack Kennedy frog marching me out of there!
As a punishment for performing, I was sent with R Coy (Commando Display Team) to do the equivalent of the Dutch Royal Tournament, I did take a few pot noodles! Now, I thought I was bad the trip before but my performance paled into insignificance as Royal was on the free Jupiler big time! Two hands, a drink in each and one on the side ready for a resupply. The USMC Drill team were there as well and they were also on it big time. Elmer couldn't handle his ale like Royal and one keeled over... it was like something from match of the day!
2 blokes (Dutch Marines) ran out with a stretcher, dropped the intoxicated incapacitated American Marines onto the stretcher and raced off with him and put him in a recovery room. That was like a signal and people just stared falling over all over the place. I'll give them their dues, those stretcher lads were very fast.
Must dash, my satay sauce is on the cooker 
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Pusser
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Well done Geoff. I remember that trip. Can't recall the name of the Bugler who threw up in a corner of the immaculately clean, shining Jupiler brewery! That was before the freebies too.
There was some sort of Open Day at the barracks we were living in and we were invited to attend the social. They issued us with tickets for each of the four drinks stations set up in their drill shed - wine, beer, spirits and soft drinks. Loads of people who, strangely, all suddenly disappeared leaving just us, a few civvies tidying up and all the booze.
Minesweeper's paradise!
Pusser!
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Nick B
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Hello Geoff,
Yes I was there ! Did we not have to straw fill our mattress! Hot water was once a week and we missed it!
Travelled on HMS Exmouth from Dover to Ostend and filled Ostend harbour with Teepol because of the smell. Hmmm.....
Vic J & George S where the admin team.
Viva La Belgique ravioli according to Robbie R
Nick B
p.s. Thanks to Dave G for putting me on the coach after a night on the Schnaps!!!!! 
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bootybandy
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You were lucky, normally when Dave Gollop puts you on a coach you end up in Antwerp....
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Nick B
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Didn't we "Borrow" some glasses from the local hostilary and get stopped by the Belgium RMP trying to break into the barrack
s??!!
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GeoffComber
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New you would get here !Hiya Nick , thought your son would get you on here eventually !
You remember Liege as well do you ? I've often thought it must have been some kind of dream.................... 
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hartg
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Ditto,
That was one funny gig, especially when Spanner dropped down the manhole. Do you remember when we arrived at the barracks, we were taken to the galley for a meal which looked like something the cat had dragged up, there was a dustbin in the middle of the room and a good number of us threw it straight in there and walked out.
Then the buglers decided to blast some bugle call out of the windows at half past midnight after a night on the sherberts which prompted the Belgians to break out the guard who came and menacingly growled up at the windows armed with batons.
The break for the beer on the march came about 5 minutes into trundle through Liege when were stopped by some dignitary halfway up a hill with all the crowd standing around, and were ushered into a bar for a quick half, this was after we'd toured the Jupiler brewery earlier, and sunk a few!
No wonder Spanner Winter never felt anything when he fell down the manhole!
Regards
Geoff Hart.
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